She holds the pipe up, as if to smoke it. She looks at me, looks at the pipe, the bulge in my crotch and then back up to my eyes. She hesitates in her speech and is obviously holding something back. I was amused to watch her struggle with saying whatever it was she wanted to. My dark side enjoys her squirming and discomfort under the pressure. She looks up, smiles and quickly says “I want to serve you” She said it so fast it took me a minute to be sure I heard her right. As I looked down at her she shamefully looked down, as if she had just revealed her most vulnerable side. I stared into her eyes and watched as she held the bowl to her lips. She toked the pipe for a long time as if to keep from saying something else. Finally, as she choked and bent over, she held the pipe over her head. I took the pipe, reached down to comfort her with my hand on her shoulder. She shuttered at my touch but dare not move…..She didn’t want me to stop touching her. I could feel her desperation for my attention. I wanted to give it to her in that moment. As her coughing calmed I walked just a few steps away with my back to her. I could hear her sit up now that I had removed my hand. I took 3 tokes of the pipe, staring out the window.
Silence had fallen in the room. Our breath, the toke of the bowl and the sound of the lighter filled the local sound waves. The distance was filled with traffic and sounds of the city. I dug my phone from my pocket and began to search for appropriate music. I could hear her wiggle in her seat and noticed her breath becoming more and more anxious. She was afraid I would reject her. I let that energy linger in the air, creating a sense of discomfort for her. She had felt my eagerness when I touched her but her own sense of self wasn’t strong enough to be sure I wanted her. My silence made her uncomfortable, good to remember. She wanted my approval, my attention, my touch, my ….. I found some rather dark ambient music. I turned around, set my phone on a small table on the edge of the room and laid the pipe and lighter next to it. I could see she wanted to be relieved but wasn’t sure she should be. Now she questioned her own desire. I looked into her eyes.
In a deep low dark voice I said, “You will serve me now. Get on your knees here in front of me” I pointed at the floor and grinned. She smiled so big the yellow in her outfit stood out even more. I could see the eager innocent submissive emerge, I could feel the tingling sensation of arousal spread through my groin. The phallic in between my legs filled with blood. I could feel myself heating up from deep within. The heat radiated and filled my head with creative fantasies that simply raised the sex energy between the two of us. She knelt in front of me and looked up into my eyes. Her hands hung at her side as if she were simply a puppet.
I look at her sternly and speak slowly and freely “I want more than a puppet. I want you to WANT to pleasure me. I want your desire to serve and be mine, to be genuine. I want you to enjoy serving me as much as I enjoy having your service. I want our experience to be deeper than a simple a sexual connection. I lead you and teach you with love in my heart. I will teach you to trust me, respect me, and follow my orders. You will set your boundaries, love yourself first, and desire my teachings. You will desire to serve me. I will desire your service. I will be your Daddy. Do you accept? Is this what you desire for this evening? After we are done here tonight it is done, the commitment ends. The commitment also ends if you speak your word. If you tell me your word, you accept these terms. If you wish to add something you can but once you say your word, we will begin.”
As I spoke I could read her reactions to each of my statements. She even looked surprised at my clearness. She was impressed I could see it was not what she expected. She was experienced enough to expect the typical dominant so pent up they forget the value of the service of a submissive. Honoring, respecting and loving a submissive is a lot like being a Daddy. Discipline was necessary but always out of love. Guiding her into understanding her own desires and empowering her to grow into something profoundly beautiful. The Dom must not get caught up in the ego and control so much that we lose sight of what it means to play these dangerous games. BDSM is intentional healing space for the dark side in all of us. It has lessons for us and provides space for us to explore our dark side. The better we know our dark side the better we understand our light side. This bumble bee was apparently contrasted with her cute but seductive black and yellow outfit. Dark and light in one, was it possible? The strong light holders often struggle with their dark side – and the dark ones are so dam dark outside the bedroom they are a downer. This one was a little different and I was interested to see what would happen. I knew I was not what she expected and the look on her face told me that she was thinking about all I said. She took a few breaths as she looked at the floor.
Still on her knees in front of me she put her hands in a prayer position and looked up at me. Her words flow from her with the sweetness and innocence expected from a girl with a chastity belt but her eyes spoke to me like the excited slut that desperately couldn’t stop looking at my crotch. “My Daddy you have already blown my mind and nothing has really started yet. Your presence comforts me with peace and safety. Earlier when you had your back to me, it was like torture to me my Lord. I want to serve you so much that my desire fills me with heat and moisture. I beg of you Lord! Tonight please take me where you think we can go and only if I speak my word will you stop. I have no way of knowing my boundaries sir and hope that you will help me find them. I will say my word when its no longer sexy for me My Master. I will commit to this evening. I want to please you, Sir. Namaste. My word is simply honey. ”
Her desire came through in her voice as she spoke of it. Her curiosity and innocence showed in her lack of boundaries. I smiled a satisfied smile, took a deep breath and bowed to her in prayer pose. “Namaste” I stepped back and stared at her. Then I quickly walked over to the table and fixed a shot, took it and kept my back to her. I could feel her desperate looks at my back as I took a toke of my bowl and finished a shot. I was ready.
I turned and looked at her. I slowly took steps towards her and reached down to my pants. I began to unbutton them, unzip them, and reached down to adjust my package. I walked right past her to the front door where I left my bag. I reached into the bag and traded out for the enlarged penetrative phallic. I tucked it into my pants, creating a even larger bulge. I knew she couldn’t see what I was doing but she obediently awaited my arrival on her knees. I was sure they were getting sore, she kept rocking back and forth. Her fidgeting grew with each minute. When I finally stepped in front of her she raised her eyebrows whens he laid eyes on the bulge in my pants. I know she wondered how it all worked and I could see the curiosity leak out of her eyes.
I stood in front of her, my bulge in her face….now much closer to her face. I cross my arms, look down at her and in a stern demanding tone I command “Tell me who put those panties on you, why, and how to get the key.”
Her eyes got really big, she smiled an evil grin and innocently began to blush. She was both anxious and relieved to finally tell the truth and it spoke volumes in her face as she adjusted her skirt and shirt to explain herself. I waited for an explanation.