If you don’t want to be a man, why do you do drag?

This question happens a lot. Of course queens and others inside the community get it, but a lot of people just don’t. Yah I am a Drag King and I love it. First and foremost its an art form, its an expression of something through music. Music is very powerful, it changes people’s emotional landscape. If you hear a sad song, you feel sad….we all know this to be fact. You can actively block it out but if you allow yourself to be engaged with the music, you will experience the emotional influence of music.

Drag has its roots with music yes but also with something distinctly queer. It has been related to the queer community for a very long time and most people have a hard time separating the two. Its also related to adult entertainment and a sex positive point of view. Many drag queens have tried to tease those folks who turn red if you use the word ‘sex’ in a conversation. They are embarrassed at their pleasures and desires, something that baffles me. But to keep it clear, just because a Queen/King can do something totally sexual doesn’t mean she can’t keep it clean for a family show. Adult entertainment is exactly what it is, and many people can cross those lines back and forth, don’t bring shame to it. Drag has 3 elements that pull directly from my soul but it also gives me the creative outlet I never knew I needed.

So as I have thoroughly explored in my blog “Do I have to choose?” about my gender I know that I don’t want to take hormones or have surgery to be a man. I have come to the conclusion that gender just does not need to exist at all. So as a Drag King, I am a gender outlaw. I make fun of gender’s existence. I make fun of how men flaunt their over masculinity. I show you just how ridiculous gender is. My genitalia is only necessary if we are sharing intimacy, you have no rights to my genitalia. Its private to me and I can share it with whomever I want. Its my gift to myself and to others. You cannot assume my genitalia simply by the clothes I wear and if you do….you might find yourself terribly disappointed.

If we removed gender from our culture it would end so many things that still stand in our faces. It would change gender oppression all together, things like being lgbtq would no longer matter, and everyone would have to respect each other based on things like character, compassion, and kindness. I realize that the removal of gender from our world is as hard as removing race from the world, but I join hands with them as kin of the oppressed.

In the meantime as the world evolves into a peaceful place I need a place to outlet my creativity and love for performance.  Why are Drag Kings so rare and why are there not more of us…..and why the hell are we not showing men how to be gentlemen? Let’s be sexy examples of men. Let’s be creative through music. Let’s get people’s attention. Let’s embrace being a gender outlaw. Let’s raise money for good things inside our community like the “Foundation for Hope” Let’s spread love, peace, and compassion. Let’s build a community that welcomes all the gender outlaws, gender variants, and gender queers. Where we celebrate your butchness,  your queerness, your gender no matter how it changes. We give you space to express your masculinity and femininity, as you see fit.

Although we meet lots of transgender folks actually most of us are not. Transgender folks often do come to drag as an outlet for something they are obviously struggling with inside. Drag gives them the stage to explore their gender variance and supports them in the transition, if that’s what they choose. We all have different journeys but often we are not transgender. We love our transgender sisters and brothers – we support their journey. Drag is something different.


4 thoughts on “If you don’t want to be a man, why do you do drag?”

  1. You are so totally cool!

    When I was in high school one of my closest friends used to run lights for a midnight drag show on the far west side of Manhattan. Sometimes, I would go in to the city with him and watch from the lighting booth.

    My parents used to love to go to Provincetown every summer and, when we were little, we saw some of the more family friendly shows. Maybe that’s the reason I’ve always loved drag. It’s great stuff.

    1. Yes. Drag is tons of fun and frankly the community is priceless. I just feel blessed. Look in your community for drag….Thank you for commenting on my blog..its good to know someone reads it 🙂

      1. I’m in Baltimore. I’m not a native, but it seems to me that they’re proud of their drag traditions here.

        Actually, now that I think about it, it could make a great post.

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