I would choose to describe my sexuality as Feminist. Its not something we often see together but for sure it exists! Many of us worked or currently work in the adult industry in some fashion. Often people assume that anyone that works in the adult industry is being taken advantage of by men, this is simply not true. I met many feminists in the adult industry and you should not assume that a woman that works as any kind of adult entertainer from escort to phone sex operator is anything less than a feminist, and in action! The greater community, regardless if they worked in the adult industry or not, is often called Sex Positive. We like sex, we are proud we like sex, and we think talking about it is a good thing. We like to talk about it because it helps us understand each other, evolve, and enjoy each other. Sex Positive folks change the world simply by having sex!
So many women can barely even talk about sex much less masturbate or express fantasies. Some women will swear that they simply are not interested in sex, maybe this could be true in some extreme cases. But in most of those cases I find that the person is lacking in good experiences of any kind or any experiences at all. If they don’t know the benefit of such a profound soulful experience of a sexual connection with either themselves or including others – they are not likely to pursue it in the future. This is so sad for me and often leaves me way out of this world among lesbians. I have had tons of great sexual experiences, can orgasm easily, and my sexuality is often regarded as evolved. Sad that so many women that I talk to express how they have longed or do currently long for these intense sexual experiences but have lost all hope. I am often so flatfooted with these women that I can feel my heart ache for them.
So many women that work in the adult industry talk about several things. First of all please understand that most of what girls do in that industry is simply a performance…I don’t care what anyone says! Even the amateurs are at least exaggerating their experience. That sex you see on camera is simply flirting for some of them, simply making out. Its after the shoot after we laughed, ate dinner, and sit down with a drink do we find ourselves connected. That’s when we are ready, that’s when we KNOW how to enjoy our orgasms. We have one after another and we own every single one of em’ – We take it, over and over. You don’t wait for it to land in your lap, you GO FUCKING GET IT!! If you can’t give it to yourself than you need more alone time to truly appreciate your vagina! (Don’t get me started on that word!) It is gifted with the ability to orgasm so many times that it can take you places deep within your soul or other people’s souls you have never been. Places that teach us about our connection with each other, regardless of body parts. Sex is very special for women, an intense journey deep within the soul.
Making love to yourself can bring some healing to yourself, making love to others heals you and the others. Its a truly magical experience that transcends most other experiences. Some women will admit to this because they have stumbled into a few orgasms, these woman haven’t lost hope. No they just wait, they wait… don’t wait, take! Search it out! Find it!
Then there are those of us that truly enjoy, love, and pursue sex. We can talk about it with no shame, we can describe it and feel proud. We can fantasize and masturbate. We can make love to each other, once or a million times. We wanna dance with you deep in your soul. We have ideas about what we want and can ask for it. We are sexually empowered. No shame.
That’s the part I struggle with, shame. Its hard sometimes because so many judge me for my past, my sex positive attitude, and my assertiveness. It’s a struggle for me, shame. It has often lead me to places where I just lock up, freeze. I can’t say anything… yah that’s right this tough butch finds herself in situations she is frozen. Shame cripples me at times but I simply remember my roots in the sex positive world. The sex positive feminist that worked in the sex industry held my hand up and are so proud. They brought an important message to me – its a GOOD thing to like sex! Its an AMAZING experience and its your POWER. It’s okay for you to be who you are, straight, bisexual or gay, its okay to be butch, its okay to love sex! Its okay to be into private sex instead of public sex. Its okay to NOT attend orgies any more! Its OKAY TO EVOLVE, please we want to see what comes out the other end! That’s what it sounds like to me, they love me unconditionally.
I sometimes find myself ashamed of my roots and I know these days that I simply need to remember the message I found in that world. If I sell the illusion of sex for those that need to watch it, does that reduce my own experience. HELL NO, it enhances it. I have experienced many people in a space of orgasm and in that space they heal, they light up inside – deep inside magic happens. I was simply a vessel. I help raise the magic already in their souls, I stir it up. Sex is a stirring of the magic either within yourself or within others. Evolution is the only direction and I been exercising that muscle a lot!
Sex positive is not just those that have had tons of experience though, its also about those woman that recognize their own inner sexuality. Those that question the oppression of female sexuality. Those that insist that a woman can love sex and not be bad for it. A woman can talk about sex and be comfortable and unashamed. Don’t allow the shame of oppression drown your sexuality anymore. Rise up. Fuck, Scream. Orgasm!