My primary partner and I have been together almost 8 years. Most of those 8 years have been incredibly happy and often romantic. I love romance and intimacy, its like being in a warm bath. It’s great that I feel this way about love, romance, and intimacy because it has always brought happiness to my life. Not because someone loved me but because I love them. In all these cases it has been women. I feel a strong sense of romance for them and even have had fantasies about romancing them. Like taking them out for special dinners or cooking a dinner for two – well you know the images. You name it, I have probably thought about it. Its not necessarily about sex and this is how I was sure I loved women. I could have sex with men but I had no desire to romance them and when they romanced me I often felt displaced.
So in my current relationship I am the one that initiates most of the romance and I realize that I often clog the airways for it to ever be returned. At first this was of no concern for me because I don’t really feel strongly attached to being romanced but for me to provide the romance seems to fill my soul with love, especially when its appreciated. Occasionally, Arial, my primary partner of 8 years, will express a desire in which she would like to provide the romance.
This time it was about a dinner to two at our favorite romantic festival, New York Faerie Festival. The thing is about couples is that all sorts of things could be romantic to them but not to another couple. We like festivals where we can feel free and open to be ourselves and if you can mix that with a bit of fantasy & magic you are likely to find us in romantic space. We truly enjoy each other’s company the entire time, although we also love to be social together. We often say “It’s always better together.” So this particular festival has been our favorite romantic weekend for the last 2 years.
This past weekend we went to NY Faerie Festival Fun (D) raiser for a last lick of a romantic weekend. It was cold and we slept in a tent with two female friends, but we still found time for romance. This time she made it clear she wanted to do something “romantic” and she wanted to bid on the dinner for two at the next festival. She did win the auction. It felt great to be able to support the community we wanted to and get ourselves something amazing. We love doing that! Its what we do!
Now here’s the pondered question. Is it always the ‘mans’ or ‘masculine side’ job to initiate the romance. For sure it takes two to fully feel the benefits on both sides but usually someone initiates it. Does the feminine side sort of demand this sort of honor in order to be fully a part of her soul? I actually think its like that old wise crone told me, “the meaning of life is puzzles.”
Puzzle? Yah its like a puzzle piece. I initiate a lot of romance and if I find someone that doesn’t initiate all that much then its like we fit like 2 puzzle pieces. Now how would it work for 3 of us in a romantic situation? That’s the polyamorous challenge!