I am always annoyed when men and butches of all sorts reject flowers and fairies. I always wonder how growing beautiful things takes away from someone’s masculinity. Why would romance, flowers, and fairies make you less masculine. I do a lot of rather masculine tasks to make it work. Digging holes, building decorations, and general gardening is physical work and takes a tough person to create. Its not for the faint of heart at all. Nothing in nature is for those faint of heart. I also honor romance in my relationship with my futch wife whom appreciates a nice dinner in the garden. Intimacy is easily found among the fairies and flowers. I create the space and she enjoys having her own input.
I personally think a connection to nature makes us a whole person and has nothing to do with gender or the expression of it. Certainly when I grow vegetables no one really questions my masculinity but once I begin to show off my fairie garden with flowers and fairie furniture they wonder where my masculinity disappears to. I feel like its just who I am and fairie gardening is more of a spiritual attachment to nature that I enjoy. I am not religious but find spirituality among growing things and setting up my yard for certain situations, emotions, and themes. This helps me and I know many others appreciate the space.
I knew I had succeeded on creating a safe space for queers when I was showing off a bit of the flowers to be planted to a fellow butch friend. I informed her of my intention with these fuchsia and she was as ecstatic as I was with the idea of the beauties blooming in the garden. Flowers bring pollinators and that’s the practical application but they also bring joy and smiles. Even butches smile…
I am enjoying my abandonment of gender roles and appreciating my ability to make beautiful, organic, creative, permaculture garden deep in this urban setting. It takes a strong butch to grow flowers!